On June of this year, a month short of my second anniversary with the company, I resigned from my job. The pay was good, the benefits were more than any employee could ask for, and the co-workers were not only friendly but brilliant at what they did. It was the perfect office setup and, in these uncertain times where jobs are scarce, I gave it all up.

I went to my mentor in undergrad this summer to ask her to write me a recommendation letter. I was applying to my undergraduate course’s graduate studies program. The minute she found out I was going to resign from work to study, she said “What? You found out those Philistines don’t read Austen so you’re going back to school?” It was meant as a joke, of course, but it made me stop and think. Was I one of those people who couldn’t handle the real world and, therefore, needed to hide out in the academe, the bubble of “academic freedom” that is UP (University of the Philippines) in particular? Why did the words, “further studies,” sound dirty all of a sudden?

The assumption is if you go to grad school, especially with a program as fancy-sounding (useless) as Anglo-American Literature, you must want to teach. In my case, that couldn’t be further from the truth. When I answer the question, “You want to teach?” with a negative, the already creased foreheads of the people asking the question develops even deeper ridges and with a totally confused look, they follow up with, “So what do you plan to do (with a Masters in Anglo-American Literature)?”

This always leaves me stumped. Not because I don’t have an answer, but because half of me doesn’t know where to begin the explanation (and suspecting that the explanation will satisfy no one, including–and probably most of all–me), while the other half is surprised that there’s a need to explain at all. People do a lot of pointless things in their lives; can’t going to grad school be one of them? Why the utilitarianism? Will anyone ever accept an answer like, “I have this blank space on my wall and I think a framed MA certificate in AAL is just the thing it needs”? Whatever happened to knowledge for knowledge’s sake?

Then there are the people who have attacked me with statements like, “Well, I can’t afford it. I don’t have parents willing to pay for my schooling like you do,” as if my decision to go back to school is a judgment upon them. My father and I made a deal long ago, before I realized what an extremely good deal I was making, that he would support my studies for as long as I wanted to study. He must have either sensed that I will have absolutely no interest in being a member of the 9-5 workforce, or had misguided romantic visions of me as an erudite. Or both. But whatever his reasons were for striking that deal with me, the fact is, the deal exists. And while I’m young with the notion that I want to go to school lodged in my head, I’m going to milk that deal for everything it’s worth. I’d be crazy not to.

A masters in Literature isn’t even my main goal. It’s just a stepping stone to a masters degree in media or graphic arts (something “artsy-fartsy and useless”), and possibly film school abroad. My choices may doom my chance of ever being a certified yuppy, but what the hell. I only live once, may as well occupy myself doing things I like. If there was anything I learned about my stint as an office worker, it’s that I’m not cut out to be a pencil pusher. Give me anything but a desk job, or give me death. So maybe my aspirations to yuppiehood were doomed from the start and my going to grad school was just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

I don’t plan on going to school forever. I’m no “professional student” wannabe. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) As early as this semester I’ve already decided that while class discussions are a joy, schoolwork sucks. The point (if there’s any need for a point at all) is experiencing new things, exploring possibilities, maximizing potential–knowledge for knowledge’s sake, as trite as that sounds. Who cares what I do with it after? I’m sure I’ll figure out how all my learning will play a part in my life eventually. My decisions now may appear naive and just a little bit escapist to me someday, but as long as I’m spending my time getting an education, I strongly doubt I’ll ever consider it as a complete waste of time.

For now, seize the day and hit the books!

Mela is a Halfway Staff Writer

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