Now don’t get me wrong, this is not intended as any sort of attack on my parents. I understand that they only want what’s in our best interests. Everything they’ve done is for us; everything they sacrificed was for us. Even with all that, there is one thing they still don’t do so well: listening to us. We’ve everything we could possibly want from them, except their attention. If only we had that one thing, their attention, there’d be so much less confusion, so much less worry, so much less stress for all of us.

When I first entered college, I applied as a computer science major. I didn’t know what I wanted to do yet, but my indecision wasn’t an option for my parents. I had to have a set goal; I had to be sure of what I wanted. I never got a chance to figure out for myself. I just had to choose it, and stick with it, and more importantly, my choice had to be something they approved. I toiled in this major for 2 years, hating every second. I never said a word to them about my distaste, because I didn’t know how. Somewhere along the line, I stopped being able to talk to them. And, after those 2 years, I couldn’t handle doing something I hated, being someone I didn’t want to be, anymore. I changed majors and moved on. I found myself happier, thinking more clearly than before. It felt as if my view was nowhere near as cloudy as it had been before. I floated from major to major searching for something I wanted to do for myself. And after 3 years of college, I found Biology, something I actually wanted to pursue. Suffice to say, my parents were, at first, not happy. I tried to explain to them I never wanted to go into computer science. I tried to tell them how much I hated not being allowed to make a choice and not be able to so much as speak out about anything. Still, my words had little effect on their opinion. All they could say was, “If you had stuck in your major, you’d be almost done by now. You’re just wasting time.” It took me 3 years to finally be able to talk to my parents, and still they couldn’t listen. I just gave up trying to explain my choice to them, and went on my way. Over time, though, they’ve begun to listen, albeit slowly. They’ve discovered that biology is not such a bad field and that people can actually make money in it, so they’re coming around. Now that I’m firmly on and walking down a path, I’m no longer a need for concern. The next concern is my younger brother.

I can already see my situation repeating with my brother. I can feel the unvoiced defiance in him when they “ask” him what major he wants to study. They don’t even give him a chance to answer half the time. “What major do you want to do? Engineering? Pharmacy? Engineering?” It’s unnerving to watch. My brother just shrugs and tells them he doesn’t know. Time and again, they ask him, and he always gives the same answer. I think that is a good part of my brother, he doesn’t come to decisions easily, but once he does, he’ll stick with them. So I do what I can for him. I tell him it’s okay to not know what to do. I tell him not to make the same mistake I did. That he should take his time to really find out what he wants. And most importantly, that he needs to talk to them about it now. In the end, I think our actions will speak louder. If that is the case, grand actions they will be.

It took me 3 years to grow up. I had just gone on willingly with what my parents had wanted and ended up unhappy. I don’t want my brother to go through a situation like that. I want him to know that it’s okay to not listen to our parents here and there. It’s okay to think for yourself. It’s okay to be yourself. Above all, it’s okay to be lost. Because sooner or later you find yourself, as long as you don’t give up. That’s the key, never giving up.

Kevin is a Halfway Staff Writer

Most of my life was spent just trying to fit in and not be noticed at school. I simply didn’t care enough about my own culture, about speaking the language or anything like that. I just wanted to have fun with my friends and not worry about anything serious. I coasted through high school oblivious to anything outside of what I knew, which was school. Understanding how little I knew about myself and those around me came only when I entered college and left the Valley.

Over the years, though, I’ve come to realize how important it is to have pride in yourself and your culture. For instance, I would have friends asking me questions about Vietnamese culture, genuinely interested, and didn’t have a reply to give them. I just didn’t know, and I was left dumbfounded by questions about my own heritage. The people who asked these questions had more interest in it than I did, and so I began to think that there might be something not so right about the situation. So I began to ask questions. Learned a little bit, here and there, hoping to glean something from the adults and their stories. I joined a Vietnamese Student Association (VSA) as well, hoping to meet more people who are around my age with an interest in Vietnamese culture and those who wanted to share their knowledge with others.

VSA was a learning experience for me, as I’d always been so used to just being the typical Californian, and had never really known anything about being Asian. VSA gave me a chance to do learn and experience this in a different way, and I jumped at this opportunity. It’s a similar situation with Halfway, because it motivates me to not only learn more about myself and my culture, but also different aspects of others.

I’m still not sure what I have to offer Halfway as of yet, but as I learn more and better myself, I’m sure I can be more sure of myself and my words. This is, ultimately what joining the crew at Halfway is about for me. I look at this opportunity as a valuable experience in enriching myself and becoming someone of whom I, and those around me, can be proud.

Kevin is a Halfway Staff Writer.